he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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