just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
