actually, I'm a sock model
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
