Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
