A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
