she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
