this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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