I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
