Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
