No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
