Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
