4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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