does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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