The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
