Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
lol hangovers are for mortals.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
