I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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