i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
