Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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