so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
