i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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