Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
More tranny stories later!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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