i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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