If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
