I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
