that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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