I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize