remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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