its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
