my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
