he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
