Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
