mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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