Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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