we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize