you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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