ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is my gift to your gina
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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