Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
