How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
