I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
