I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
