I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
