I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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