Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
