I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize