there's paper in my vomit.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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