i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
