dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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