Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
