alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
