I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize