.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
A+ Viking dick
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
