let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
