Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
