That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize