Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
