Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize