how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
