Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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