what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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