marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I did not marry a roomba.
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