turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I deserve this hangover.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize