This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
