I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
