just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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