I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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