there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
