Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
