you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
